Teaching an autistic child to share can seem like an uphill battle. It’s common for children on the autism spectrum to struggle with this social skill, but that doesn’t mean they can’t learn it. By breaking down the task into simple steps and creating a calm, structured environment, you can help your child gain confidence in sharing.
I’ve worked with many parents who were frustrated by how long it took their child to grasp the concept of sharing. One parent, in particular, shared that their son would play for hours with his favorite toy but would become upset whenever anyone tried to join in.
Over time, by incorporating small sharing activities, they saw a shift – and that shift made a world of difference in their relationship. It wasn’t easy, but patience paid off.
Be Clear and Consistent
Children with autism thrive on routine and structure. When teaching them to share, consistency is key. Use the same language and approach every time.
For example, if you’re teaching your child to share toys, say something like, “It’s your turn now, and then it’s my turn,” so they get used to the flow. The more predictable the situation, the better.
Start with Small, Manageable Steps
Rather than diving into full sharing right away, break the task down. Start with something small, like taking turns with a toy or sharing a snack.
Praise your child each time they give something to someone else, even if it’s just for a second. Keep these moments short and sweet, so they don’t feel overwhelmed.
Use Positive Reinforcement
Reward your child when they share. It can be as simple as saying, “Well done!” or giving them a sticker or extra playtime.
Positive reinforcement is incredibly effective in encouraging desired behaviors. The more you reinforce their efforts, the more they’ll start to associate sharing with positive outcomes.
Model Sharing Yourself
Kids often learn by observing others. Share things in front of your child, showing them how it’s done. You could share a toy with them and say, “I’m sharing this with you because sharing is fun!”
You can also model sharing with other people, like friends or family members, to show them that sharing is something everyone does.
Use Visual Cues and Social Stories
For many autistic children, visual learning is highly effective. Create simple visual schedules or charts that show what sharing looks like. You could also use social stories—short, illustrated stories that show the steps of sharing in a relatable way.
For example, a social story might show how sharing a toy with a friend leads to both kids having fun together.
Practice Turn-Taking Games
Turn-taking games, like passing a ball or playing board games, are excellent ways to encourage sharing. With turn-taking, the concept of “your turn” and “my turn” becomes easier to understand.
Make sure to praise your child after each successful turn, and if they struggle, offer gentle reminders and encouragement.
Use Role Play
Sometimes children learn best by pretending. Role-playing with toys or dolls can help them understand sharing.
For example, you can act out two dolls taking turns with a toy, saying phrases like, “It’s your turn!” and “Now it’s my turn!” You can then let your child join in the role play and practice sharing.
Gradually Increase the Challenge
As your child becomes more comfortable with small acts of sharing, gradually increase the challenge. You might start by having them share with a familiar family member and later introduce the idea of sharing in social settings like school or playdates.
Always be patient and make sure the environment is calm, so your child doesn’t get overstimulated.
Create a Reward System
If your child responds well to structure, consider creating a simple reward system. For every successful act of sharing, they could earn a small reward, such as a token that can be traded for something they enjoy. This gives them something tangible to work toward.
Stay Patient and Encouraging
Lastly, remember that learning to share takes time. Be patient with your child and offer consistent encouragement. Celebrate every little step, no matter how small, and keep the experience as positive as possible.
Get Support from Bluebell ABA
If you’re looking for personalized guidance on teaching your child to share, Bluebell ABA is here to help. Our ABA therapy services in North Carolina are designed to support children with autism in learning important social skills, including sharing.
Explore how our in-home ABA therapy and school-based ABA therapy can provide your child with the tools they need to thrive.
FAQs
- How can I get my child to share without forcing them?
Start small by encouraging small, voluntary acts of sharing, like passing a toy for a moment. Praise them for these efforts, and build up to longer and more complex sharing.
- What if my child gets upset when it’s time to share?
It’s normal for children to struggle with this. Offer comfort and use calming strategies like deep breathing or a quiet space. Gently redirect their attention to another activity or a new toy to help them reset.
- Does ABA therapy focus on teaching sharing skills?
Yes! ABA therapy works by breaking down skills like sharing into smaller, manageable steps and reinforcing positive behavior. Bluebell ABA offers in-home and school-based ABA therapy that can help your child learn social skills like sharing.
Sources:
- https://carolgraysocialstories.com/
- https://www.autismspeaks.org/social-skills-and-autism
- https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6061008/
- https://reframingautism.org.au/autistic-social-skills-understanding-organic-autistic-experiences-of-connection-and-friendship/
- https://iidc.indiana.edu/irca/articles/making-and-keeping-friends.html
- https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8115498/